I was born in 1954. I remember air raid drills from my early school days, when all the kids had to sit under their wooden desks until the bell rang. We were practicing hiding, how to stay safe in case Russia bombed the U.S. Never mind that if a bomb actually hit, our wooden desk would not keep us safe. More likely, a bomb would have probably blown us to smithereens. But the school authorities were taking action. They meant well.

I became very confused. “What’s going on?” I silently asked. “Grandma won’t hurt anybody.” These thoughts circled round and round in my head. Too terrified, I said nothing to anyone. 

Grandma was my mother’s mother and a Russian immigrant. She, her three sisters, and their mother and father (my great grandparents) fled Russia in the early 1920s. Grandma’s father died before reaching the United States. She and the rest of the family settled in Chicago. 

Grandma was an imposing figure who stood tall and presented an air of confidence. I realized only years later that, until her death in 1970, she lived in fear that some government official — Russian or American — would knock on her door and deport her back to Russia. She was terrified of returning to her homeland.

Throughout much of my growing-up years in Chicago, collective calls for peace wove through raging episodes of violence, at home and abroad, with the ever-present drumbeat threatening nuclear war. I wasn’t much of an activist, but I clung with all my might to the possibility of peace. I still do.

Humans are capable of enormous courage, kindness, and generosity. We all have these qualities within us. At our best, we bring these positive qualities out into the world. Each of us contains seeds of violence as well.

In my last post, I introduced the work of David Bohm (1917-1992), a quantum physicist who became keenly interested in human consciousness, what it is, how it functions. He suggested we assume our thoughts are private unless we choose to share them with others. However, Bohm realized the deep interconnected of all reality, which logically extended to consciousness. Like Carl Jung, Bohm emphasized the collective nature of thought, which echoes ancient Buddhist teaching. 

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Zen Buddhist monk who became a beloved teacher to Westerners about Buddhist concepts and practice. Here is a glimpse of his teaching about the relationship between individual and collective consciousness: 

“Our individual consciousness is influenced by the collective consciousness of our environment. We absorb and reflect what is around us. If we live in a place where people are angry and violent, then eventually we’ll become like them. If we live in a family or community where there’s a culture of being understanding and compassionate with each other, we’ll naturally be more peaceful and loving. Children growing up in such an environment will learn to be caring and kind.”  (Thich Nhat Hanh, https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/t30ymp/what_love_needs_to_survive_from_thich_nhat_hanhs/ )

I have learned that our outward behavior — spanning the spectrum from acts of courage, kindness, and generosity to acts of cruelty and violence — begins within us. Learning to cultivate the interior realm of our minds and bodies is the point of spiritual practice, in any tradition. The Quakers call this inner work “bending toward the light”. Through spiritual practice, we become better able to make wise choices about what we think and how we behave toward and respond to others.

Bohm was a physicist, not a therapist, nor a spiritual teacher. Yet he knew keenly that humanity fosters the illusion that mind and body are separate entities. This, he believed, is a grave error that keeps human evolution from flourishing. For Bohm, this illusion of mind/body separation violates the inherent oneness of our being, and leads to the separation between ourselves and others, individually and within groups. We separate ourselves into endlessly specialized groups in all fields of study and work. We break up into religious communities, political parties, and countries that war within and against each other. Today, we see our society living out the destructive consequences of human fragmentation affecting all aspects of human life.

As Bohm speculated decades ago, today’s trauma therapists recognize that the human body — in the fibers, glands, anatomical structures and systems — contains all of our experience, past and present, and our dreams of the future.

Again, Thich Nhat Hanh’s words encapsulate why Bohm’s understanding remains so powerful:

“When body and mind are together, you are fully present. You are fully alive and you can touch the wonders of life that are available in the here and the now. So you practice not only with your mind but with your body. Body and mind should be experienced as one thing, not two.” (Thich Nhat Hanh, https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/interviews-with-thich-nhat-hanh/shambhala-sun-thich-nhat-hanh-special-issue-july-2010)

Psychotherapist and philosopher Eugene Gendlin  (1926-2017) was a contemporary of Bohm and, like Bohm, was deeply concerned that humans cling to the separation of mind and body, an illusion which only fragments our understanding. 

Gendlin was one of the first psychotherapists to appreciate the crucial role of our physical bodies in the therapeutic process; that we experience life through our bodies. Most therapy, he observed, anchors the patient’s attention in the mind, while ignoring the body experiencing. This happens, he found, because most therapists focus on the story of what happened to the individual, while ignoring the felt experience in the patient’s body. 

He studied various forms of psychotherapy and found that therapy makes a difference in people’s lives when the individual has a direct body-based experience. He named this direct experience the “felt sense”. For the individual, the felt sense is a inner shift, experienced in the body. It is “… a definite, physical feeling of something changing or moving within, a tight place loosening.” (Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D., Focusing, Rider ebook, 2003, page 14. Original published by Everest, 1978; revised edition by Bantam Books, 1981) He explains:

“A felt sense is not an emotion. We recognize emotions. We know when we are angry, or sad, or glad. A felt sense is something you do not at first recognize. — it is vague and murky… It is a body sense of meaning.” (Focusing, page 10) 

Gendlin and his associates developed Focusing, a specific technique that anyone can learn and that a therapist can teach to an individual patient. The Focusing technique helps one attune to the felt sense in one’s own body. This is where genuine change happens, as body experience awakens and integrates with the mind. Experiencing our stories differs greatly from describing and analyzing them.

Today there is an explosion of body-centered therapies, especially those geared toward healing trauma, such as somatic experiencing, brain spotting, NARM (Neuro-Affective Relational Model), and others. Each of these owes a tribute to the work of Eugene Gendlin and David Bohm.

Deb Dana is a well-known clinician, consultant, author and speaker specializing in the healing of complex trauma. Her work focuses on the role of the nervous system and specific techniques to help calm us. In particular, I especially enjoy what she calls “Finding Glimmers.” A glimmer can be a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of light, a glimmer of peace. She says:

“Glimmers routinely appear in everyday life, yet frequently go unnoticed. A glimmer could be as simple as seeing a friendly face, hearing a soothing sound, or noticing something in the environment that brings a smile. They are personal to each of us… Glimmers are a cue in the day, either internal or external, that sparks a sense of well-being. These tiny moments gently yet significantly shape your system toward well being… Once you learn to look for glimmers, you find they are all around, you pay more attention to them, and you naturally begin to look for more.” (Glimmers Journal: Reflect on the mall Moment that Bring you Joy, Safety, and Connection, an e-book by Deb Dana, page viii)

PRACTICES OF CONNECTION

How do we foster connecting with ourselves? Here are a few practices. Some may be familiar; some may be new. 

These practices identify what lies within us and develop compassion for all that lies within us. This demands that we honestly recognize our kindness, courage, and generosity, as well as our impulses toward greed, hatred, and illusion that, left unchecked, cause harm and may lead to violence. As Herman Hesse observed in 1916: 

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself…” (Demian by Herman Hesse, chapter 6)

These practices can also help us embody the teaching of Jesus, offered in the Gospel of John: 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”   (John 13:34) 

FOCUSING. If you are interested in the Focusing technique described above, you can access simple instructions online through a website called Focusing Resources (www.focusingresources.com). The practice itself is simple, yet the ways to apply Focusing are endless. The key to the Focusing technique is developing a “self-in-presence” voice, an inner voice of compassion that engages with any aspect of the inner world.

FINDING GLIMMERS. This simple technique makes a tremendous shift toward joy in my daily life. I find Deb Dana’s e-book, Glimmers Journal well worth having. You can find it on Amazon. You can find more about her work and teachings on her website, Rhythm of Regulation,  https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/about

MINDFULNESS. Mindfulness has become a catch-all term that essentially means developing an awareness of the inner world, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, images, bodily sensations. Mindfulness can take almost any form, from a formal meditation practice to sitting on your couch, noticing your breathing. It can be 5 mins or 60, done once or twice a week or every day, individually and/or with others, in person or online. You can practice within a specific tradition, such as Buddhism or Christianity, or within another tradition. Or you can create your own practice. The key is to practice regularly, adjusting as needed. Two of the most popular teachers of mindfulness are Sharon Salzberg (www.sharonsalzberg.com) and Jon Kabat-Zinn (www.jonkabat-zinn.com). 

OTHER ACTIVITIES. Any activity that brings mind and body together, such as Yoga, walking, dancing, swimming, singing, or playing a musical instrument. Writing, drawing, or painting are options. Again, the key point is to bring self-compassion to what we discover within ourselves. 

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ Which of the practices listed above have you tried? How have they worked (or not worked) for you?

~ If you are willing, try one practice that is new for you. How did it go?

~ What other practices help you connect more deeply within yourself? How do these help you connect to the world, with others, individually and/or in groups?

I encourage you to share your experiences below. What has helped you connect with yourself? How does that experience impact your connection to others?