TURNING AWAY FROM CHAOS

Posted on June 30, 2026 by Incarnation Place

The Guest House 

This being human is a guest house. 

Every morning a new arrival. 

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness 

     comes as an unexpected visitor. 

Welcome and entertain them all! 

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, 

who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably…

He may be clearing you out for some new delight. 

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, 

meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. 

Be grateful for whoever comes, 

because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.  

~ translated by Coleman Barks

Today our public square overflows with anger, disappointment, and frustration. Rumi’s 13th century voice offers helpful imagery. Each day we awaken to a new crowd of sorrows who violently sweep our country of the ideals that make it home. Voters on all sides long for improvement and positive change, despairing that the suffering gets worse. Newscasters are weary of relying on words like “unprecedented” and “crisis of democracy” to describe our situation. Hearing these reports, many of us feel stressed, exhausted, and full of rage at the next headline.

I suggest that Americans across the political and social divisions grieve for an illusory past, while ignoring the effects of the country’s traumatic history. Throughout our 250 years, violence, fear, and thirst for power have nurtured the seeds of our current reality. As we entered the 21st century, the attacks on September 11, 2001 launched the United States into devastating wars of retribution in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

The voices of non-violence perpetually echo through the corridors of human history, from Rumi and the ancient scriptures — east and west — to the teachings of modern leaders like King, Ghandi, Mandela, the Dalai Lama. And yet we keep relying on violence to solve our problems. We look for simple answers and quick solutions, as we fund bigger, stronger weapons that only lead to more war, with no resolution to the underlying problems that war cannot solve.  

Many of our leaders behave like traumatized children, with a fierce need to control, and rage-filled attacks that demonize those on the “other” side. Deep fears of retribution and inadequacy lie behind their anger and blame. Corruption goes unchecked, lies become the norm, hatred of the “other” (whomever that may be) drives speeches and policies and sets the tone of communication for all of us. Our communities fracture into warring sides. A blanket of despair seems to hang in and around the country. Something precious in our national identity is being lost.

What is loathsome in our current political discourse is that leaders in power are intentionally using chaos to control people and institutions. This is a well-known tactic of autocrats. Putin’s technique in Russia has been called the “firehose of falsehood”, meaning the intentional broadcasting of perpetual messages that blur truth and reality in order to exert control.* Truth becomes a slippery slope; inconsistency becomes the norm. Repeatedly telling lies and changing narratives are ways of convincing citizens that the leader’s false narratives are true.

The greater the chaos, the more distracted and overwhelmed we become. Our ability to function diminishes. Many feel powerless to change the situation or find the truth. Sometimes we just give up trying to create positive changes, while Martin Luther King’s message of non-violence seems to drift away like smoke.

What would it take for us to try the path of non-violence? 

The message of Jesus challenges us directly: 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” (Gospel of Matthew 5: 43-45)

Rumi offers a similar message, telling us to “treat each guest honorably”; to offer respect, no matter how strenuously I may disagree with his/her policies, beliefs, or behavior. The key is to find the path of respect for others rather than hate. To come from a place of respect is to choose the path of non-violence. Note, however, that this is not to condone or tolerate cruelty, racism, let alone corruption or illegal behavior from our leaders. But it is to choose wisely what each of us can reasonably do without causing harm to ourselves or others.

Loving our enemies is difficult. No wonder it is rarely tried! 

Rumi offers sage advice:

“The dark thought, the shame, the malice, 

meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. 

Be grateful for whoever comes, 

because each has been sent as a guide from beyond…”

Jesus and Rumi and all teachers of non-violence show us that our minds become battlefields, our thoughts and speech become our weaponry. Hatred of the other nurtures this inner war. Our challenge is to allow hatred to be brought into the energy of compassion. 

Religious traditions from around the world teach that Divine Power is always present, bringing Light into the places of darkness; that the forces of Goodness continually weave through time and space.

In our current climate, dare we perceive these movements of Light and Goodness penetrating the darkness we feel consumed by? Perhaps we can notice even slight movements of goodness in our relationships, communities, even the news of the day. And perhaps we can use the negativity to help sharpen our awareness of what really matters to us and live in accord with those values. 

“The air of the eternal is ‘seeping through the physical…’ How we touch and care for the stuff of the body of the earth and the body of humanity, therefore, is how we touch and care for the divine.” (** Newell, p. 194)

COVID was a stunning reminder of our human frailty, human ingenuity, and our hunger to survive. May we care enough for ourselves, others, and the world that we turn away from chaos rather than allowing ourselves to be subsumed by it.

As the old song says, “Let there be peace on earth…. And let it begin with me….”

PODCASTS 

Below are podcast episodes I find supportive during these times. I would love to know what supports you. Please share your favorites in the comments section below. Or, you can also find this blog on Substack under Incarnation Place and contact me there: 

https://substack.com/profile/84563593-incarnation-place/note/c-285603426?utm_source=substack&utm_content=first-note-modal

Ezra Klein, The Ezra Klein Podcast: Interview with Pema Chodron, May 15, 2026. New York Times staff writer Ezra Klein is best known for his incisive political analysis. In this deeply personal interview, he shares his personal experiences and questions as a Buddhist meditation practitioner with one of the outstanding Buddhist teachers, Pema Chodron. 

Nicolle Wallace, The Best People Podcast: Interview with Ben Rhodes (author and speechwriter for Barack Obama). Rhodes is a powerful voice who names the corrosive thread in our time: “We’ve lost the art of speaking to one another.” This subject is near to my heart, as readers of this blog know.

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/76ad5aca-42dc-48f5-9373-103d80af8c68/episodes/67634745-bfbd-4bf0-b62d-1eb3619d8c6c/the-best-people-with-nicolle-wallace-ben-rhodes-%E2%80%9Cthe-best-speakers-build-movements%E2%80%9D

ENDNOTES

* Christopher Paul and Miriam Matthews, “The Russian ‘Firehose of Falsehood’ Propaganda Model: Why It Might Work and Options to Counter It,” article published by Rand Corporation, July 11, 2016. A straightforward description of the problem and ways to respond. https://www.rand.org/pubs/perspectives/PE198.html

** John Philip Newell, Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul: Celtic Wisdom for Reawakening to What Our Souls Know and Healing the World, published by Harper One, 2021. A powerful introduction to Celtic spirituality. 

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RETURN TO THE SACRED

Posted on April 17, 2026 by Incarnation Place

Vivek H. Murthy, former United States Surgeon General (2014-2017) said, “Mental health is the defining health issue of our time.”  He went on to say that loneliness is now an epidemic in the United States.

Not only was he correct, but I loneliness and mental health have only gotten worse.

My breath caught in my chest when I read this sentence by New York Times columnist David French:

Parents today “… are less concerned about sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll (the vices of generations past) than they are about their kids’ anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation.”  David French, “The Light That Changed My Life”, appearing in The New York Times, April 4, 2026. 

Parents worry about their kids. But the shift that French notes is a move from the aliveness of life to the very real possibility of death among our young generation. Their hope has died, their bodies follow. We are killing our environment, we are killing our children, we are killing one another. 

We are increasingly isolated from one another, and perceive threats all around. If someone disagrees with us, we respond with anger, as if our power to control is threatened. At times, the anger becomes violent. It is no accident that our country is at war, that the war is a complex maze of competing forces. 

Christians around the world celebrate Easter, which is set aside not only as a special day but as a season that extends 40 days.  Easter celebrates what is called the Resurrection of Christ, a mysterious return from death, though in a different form. I remember as a child being confused less about Easter than about why Jesus was killed in the first place. It’s taken me a long time to get it, to believe the truth of humanity. Jesus was killed because he challenged the prevailing political and religious authorities. That threat to authoritarian power was intolerable, so the leaders killed Jesus.

Not much has changed.

Theologian and writer John Philip Newell introduces Celtic spirituality to modern audiences. The Celts were a huge thorn among the Roman authorities in early Christianity. Newell writes:

“Roman historians speak of the Celts with perplexity when they describe them as worshipping without temples. This is because the Celts considered the forests and the mountains to be their temples. With even greater perplexity, Roman authors also describe them as viewing the feminine as sacred… Celtic teachers posed an enormous threat to early Western Christianity which viewed the sacred as separate from the ordinary rather than at the very heart of it.”  (John Philip Newell, Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul: Celtic Wisdom for Reawakening to What Our Souls Know and Healing the World, pages 7-8)

Newell puts our fragmented world of today in a global context:

“This is what we are living in the midst of today, a planet struggling to breathe….  a tragic breaking apart of our interrelationship, the failure of not remembering the sacred in one another.”  (Newell, page 11)

He writes to re-awaken in us the deep connection that we share, connection that brings out the very best of us. We have just witnessed the extraordinary Artemis II space mission that launched four astronauts into space for ten days and returned them safely back to earth. This mission, like all the NASA journeys into space, reflects the coming together of the human intellect, dedication, teamwork, vision, and deep caring. With humility, these leaders remind us of the startling beauty of our earth, including the very best of human achievement.

This is sacred terrain.

By sacred, I mean a universal creative energy that penetrates all life forms; an underlying coherence. This energy may go by many names, such as God, Holy Spirit, Buddha nature; or Truth, Ultimate Goodness, Breath of Nature, to name a few. This unifying creative force is understood by science through explorations of, for example consciousness and cosmology.

We are hungry to connect. Oddly, our cell phones enable us to relate with others more instantly than ever before, yet these exchanges are often transactional. “I’ll meet you at 7pm”; or, “What shall we have for dinner?” Years ago there was a series of television commercials for the phone company AT&T, with the tag line, “Reach out and touch someone….” The commercials showed joyful interactions, giving and receiving calls with loved ones.

Today, for all our instant connect-ability through technology, we are losing touch with one another. We are forgetting the sacredness of humanity and our earth home. The consequences are disastrous, individually and collectively, as we are witnessing.

We stand at a doorway, invited to discover the compassionate wisdom of connection. This is an opportunity to heal, to re-affirm the goodness of Life, to embrace suffering, our own and that of others; and to inspire hope. 

What will turn the tide? How do we return to real connection with others?

In the old days, families and friends got together to play cards. It was a way to connect in person, to share an activity as a way of staying in touch. From a young age, my dad taught me card games like gin rummy and euchre, and offered a few lessons in bridge. In college, I added the card game hearts which I played most evenings with friends. My grown sons are avid chess players.

Recently, I discovered that lots of people, young and old, are re-discovering connection through group games. The games can be board games, card games, or some group activity, like bowling, singing, dancing, or making art. The point is to bring people together, friends and strangers, to enjoy a shared activity, just for the fun of it. Over time, people open up to each other, sharing more of themselves and their lives. We enter sacred terrain. 

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~  What does the “sacredness of life” mean to you? What helps you appreciate the sacred?

~  What would be fun for you to do with others? 

~  Is there something already available in your community? Are you willing to participate?

~  If it’s not available nearby, are you willing to organize it? Or to find others to organize it with you?

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”   Romans 12:2 

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HONORING THE SACRED

Posted on April 7, 2026 by Incarnation Place

“Never think too much about what you could do, but about what you could be… What matters is the ground on which the works are built.”  Meister Eckhart 

I’m usually well focused. Not so these days. Whether I’m cooking dinner, washing the dishes, or reading a book, my mind wanders and I forget what I’m doing. I pick up the phone and forget who I’m calling. The chronic stress and intentional chaos created by our political leaders are exhausting. I’m left feeling overwhelmed and powerless, cycling through waves of anger, anxiety, and sadness.

I’m not alone.

It’s tempting to let our anger and moral outrage turn into hate. But hate tears apart, demands power over others, and fosters the belief that one person or group may act out violence against another. Hate is not so much the opposite of love as the opposite of Life. Hate kills and shackles us to death. And killing becomes contagious. The Buddha said:

“Never does hatred cease by hating in return; only through love can hatred come to an end.”  The Dhammapada, an ancient Buddhist text

When my anger and moral outrage — no matter how justified — become hate, I betray my deepest value, that all Life, including every human being, is sacred.

Celtic writer and theologian John Philip Newell writes:

“Celtic wisdom helps us remember that all life is holy, not just the life of our family or our race or our nation, and that every species, not just the human species, is sacred.” (John Philip Newell, Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul: Celtic Wisdom for Reawakening to What Our Souls Know and Healing the World, page 8)

I believe this, truly I do. And yet, as I write these words, I feel my anger toward some and want to scream, “Surely, that person (or group) doesn’t count!”

Newell continues: 

“In the Celtic tradition it was said that we suffer from soul-forgetfulness. We have forgotten who we are and have fallen out of true relationship with the earth and with one another.” (Newell, page 3)

What have we forgotten? That we are all imbued with divine essence, worthy of ultimate respect. That means everyone, no matter what, where, or whom. 

Religions around the world guide and instill in us this sense of the sacred. It seems inconceivable how badly religion has failed to teach this truth about Life. Take Christianity, for example. In her long, complicated history, Roman authorities outlawed Celtic Spirituality for centuries because it contradicted the fundamental principle of “Original Sin.” This term refers to the belief that we are born sinful at birth and must obey a created set of rules, including infant baptism, or face eternal damnation. In the west, Original Sin became a doctrine of the church; that is, an accepted statement of truth that is fundamental to teaching about what it means to be a Christian.

Christianity is my home base, and yet, I come to her ancient writings with deeply embedded fears, afraid that the ancient stories carry messages that will hurt me, or that eternal damnation awaits me, or that God will abandon me. These fears did not magically appear out of my mind. Original Sin inspired them and kept them alive.

I’ve studied the Bible most of my life, taken part in lots of group Bible studies, and earned a seminary degree. Yet my fears persisted and a sense of being a sacred creature eluded me. To my surprise, I found in Buddhist teaching the honoring of inherent goodness of we humans that more closely aligns with the Celtic perspective than western Christianity!

Gratefully, over many years, several teachers have supported me in examining my fears of God’s punishment that kept me stuck in an inner well of self-condemnation. Today I practice approaching the ancient scriptures with fresh eyes, discovering ways in which their stories intersect with my life today. Increasingly, I feel held in the arms of scripture, including scriptures from world traditions, guiding, confronting, and challenging me to become the best person I can be, moving beyond my image of “self” into a realm of deep interconnection. My experience shows me that studying scripture in this way is a communal activity, not one we do alone. 

Author Krista Tippet said recently: 

“(W)e inhabit a world that calls us to grow up our capacity to love — and to redeem our relationship to neighbors, strangers, and enemies — as never before, both in the present and for the sake of the world beyond this age of violence we’ve come to inhabit.”   (From the introduction to her interview with Rabbi Shai Held, author of a new book, “Judaism is About Love.” * (See On Being Podcast, onbeing.org)

Intersecting with ancient texts is not always easy, some passages may be incomprehensible, but the overarching message that I hear in the Hebrew Bible or what Christians call The New Testament is of a God who creates out of Love, remains present to all of His/Her creation, guiding with wisdom and compassion.

This month, around the world, followers of Islam, Judaism, and Christianity celebrated traditions central to their faith, Ramadan, Passover, and Easter, respectively. May we see beyond the ways our beliefs, preferences, and past experiences blind us, learning to see our common human struggle to celebrate Life, honoring each one with dignity and respect, bearing witness to the sacred essence rippling through.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ How do you nurture Love, especially when you feel agitated by another’s behavior?

~ What qualities do you want to develop or improve in your family, in other relationships, in the world?

~ What qualities do you already have that enable you to be this person?

Dear Readers,

I will continue posting on Word Press. AND, I’ve joined Substack. You can find me there at:

https://open.substack.com/pub/amyrussell876/p/honoring-the-sacred?r=1echop&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

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DESIRES OF THE HEART

Posted on March 12, 2026 by Incarnation Place

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

It’s no accident that in college I majored in philosophy and later earned a graduate degree in religion. Questions like, “What is the purpose of Life?” and “Why am I here?” consumed me from a young age. But there was a more urgent question which haunted me, “What happens if I get it wrong?” 

The early loss of my mother shaped my young mind, alongside my predisposition toward asking big questions. My deepest fear was that I had caused her illness. Sadly, because my religious training was insufficient, I feared eternal punishment for being a “bad girl.”

It took me a long time to unpack my distorted beliefs about myself. But those beliefs, distortions included, shaped my life in important ways. I held back from many of my “heart’s desires” out of fear of failure. I believed that whatever I took on in life, I was “on my own,” without support or help. The belief was wrong, but it kept me captive for much of my life.

Beliefs become part of our identity, a lens through which we see ourselves, others, and the world. They may be unconscious, operating like a computer program silently running in the background of our awareness. Distorted beliefs can become so ingrained that we don’t recognize them, even as they serve as a filter through which we see ourselves, others, and the world. 

Fear, trauma, depression, and pressures from family and the larger society can profoundly skew our sense of self and we lose touch with our capacity to hear the longings of our heart. A cloud descends over the heart, and we can no longer feel connected to this deeper part of ourselves, others, or the larger reality. Instead, we become fixated on chasing material things like success, property, status, money, power, attention, or approval. These perceived needs can enslave and compel us to seek more. Alas, caught in this cycle, there is never enough. 

The problem is not that we want any of these things. Money, food, shelter, work, partnership, and so on are necessary to live in the material world. The problem is that when we focus solely on acquiring these, we disconnect from our deeper self, missing out on what brings lasting joy. 

For years, I fixated on getting degrees and climbing the corporate ladder, believing this was the path to happiness. It took me years to admit that I was exhausted, unhappy, and confused, feeling that I had “missed the boat”. That state of vulnerability was the very beginning of turning inward, learning to quiet down, and listen to the voice of my heart. To my surprise, I sensed a larger Presence that I can only call God. God’s presence. This was a feeling of being loved and accepted, not because of what I do but for who I am. This is an awakening to what Thomas Merton called the “true self.”

Thomas Merton is a towering figure in Christian spirituality. The true self is a phrase he used to name the human journey toward experiencing God’s love and accepting our dependence on God for our existence and sustenance. This journey calls us to recognize our “false self,” which is the compilation of distorted beliefs about who we are and what is important in life. In the false self, we chase material realities, like money, property, and status, that, in themselves, will leave us dissatisfied because they do not satisfy the heart’s longing for spiritual connection. 

That describes my journey! As I opened to God’s presence in my life, my desire to be of service to others emerged organically. Working with several others, we created “Praying Through Grief,” a ministry for people who were grieving any form of loss. The group met weekly for six years. For me, this is an example of what theologian Frederick Buechner observed in his book, Wishful Thinking: A Seeker’s ABC:

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” 

Whether we explore the spiritual realm in religious or non-religious terms is secondary. The priority recognizes our essential spiritual nature, which we share with the whole human family. Listening to the longings of our hearts is the first step.

Buddhism and Christianity became twin pillars for me as my spiritual focus shifted. Though the languages, images, and cultures that birthed them are vastly different, Buddhist and Christian spirituality agree on two essentials. First, all human beings suffer. Each of us experiences birth, illness, and death, which cause pain. 

Second, the power of healing propels human life, and we have an enormous capacity for peace and joy. Suffering is part of every human story, but each life is more than suffering. Coming to know these truths is the essence of the spiritual journey. Christianity names the path “the way of Jesus, from crucifixion to resurrection.” Buddhism uses language passed on from the Buddha, “the path to enlightenment” or, in some Buddhist traditions, “the way of the Bodhisattva”.

Whether we follow a religious tradition, healing is not about escaping our individual suffering or comparing one suffering to another. Rather, healing invites us to examine our experiences, identify distorted thoughts and beliefs, and examine underlying patterns of anger, fear, and shame. We engage in this process trusting that we exist in a larger field of Love.

Mahayana Buddhism teaches that each of us is born with “Buddha-nature”, referring to a luminous inner quality that propels humans toward enlightenment. Hinduism (especially the Vedanta tradition) names the concept of Atman or Brahman, the inner essence of the Divine within all human beings. Christianity teaches we are “made in the image of God,” “each of us is a beloved child of God.” 

Religions from around the world agree that knowing our heart’s desires is not an intellectual matter but the province of soul or spirit; the inner realm that taps into the transcendent, the larger reality of compassion and wisdom embracing all life. This heart language may not express in words but in images, sounds, tastes, smells, or a deep knowing. 

Can you sense the spiritual dimension developing through your life? What forms does spirituality take for you?  

If you are not comfortable with traditional religious language, use words (or images) that better name the larger reality in which you have faith, for example, Universal Love, Spirit, Tao, or Shalom. The point is to recognize a transcendent reality that connects us to one another, moving us toward compassionate wisdom. 

How do we engage in this journey to discover our heart’s desire? Here are some suggestions.

Have a notebook and pen in hand. Ask yourself, “What are the desires of my heart?” And, “How have my desires changed?” Sit quietly for a few minutes and see what comes. In your notebook, write everything that you notice.

Next, ask yourself, “What keeps me from living into my heart’s desire? Again, sit quietly and notice what comes: words and phrases, as well as images, body sensations, sounds, and impulses. Notice, too, if memories come up. In your notebook, write everything that you notice.

Next, investigate what you’ve written to find beliefs about yourself and the world that may keep you from knowing or following your heart’s desires. For example, beliefs like, “I never get what I want.” Or, “People won’t like me if they really get to know me.” Or, “I’m afraid that if I get what I want, something bad will happen.” 

In your notebook, write what you discover about your beliefs. Take each of your beliefs and list the situations in which the belief seems true. Then challenge yourself to consider the opposite belief. Are there examples when the opposite belief is true? For example, if you believe, “I never get what I want,” can you remember times when you received what you wanted? This practice of considering when the opposite of our beliefs is true can be deeply rewarding.

Are there ways in which you hold back from your faith? For example, you may believe in God, yet hold back from a living relationship with God. If that is true for you, investigate your experience. “How do I hold back? How could I re-ignite my relationship with God (or other word/phrase)?” Write your responses in your notebook.

You might experiment with a new form of prayer. For example, a daily or weekly practice of writing prayers, or writing your worries, fears, concerns and asking God (Spirit, the Universe) to hold them. You might create a piece of artwork (painting, drawing, sculpture). Or might engage your body through dance or yoga, or gentle stretching, walking, or other physical movement. 

Today, at 71 years old, I am grateful for satisfying work, a lifelong partnership with my husband, and two beautiful children. These children have grown, married, and birthed four children. Becoming a grandmother is a life-changing evolution and trememdous joy! I am excited to build a relationship with each grandchild.

I am healthy, enjoying retirement, and living in a nature-filled location. Maintaining this blog gives me a sense of purpose, contributing positively to our chaotic public square, expressing my deep care for language, the inner journey, and my love of writing. And, I continue to discover additional aspects of my heart’s desire.

Today, we are living through one of the most chaotic times in our history, where we are grappling with enormous political chaos and confusion. This question, “What is my heart’s desire?” takes on new urgency. I’m not sure where the question will lead me, but desires can shift and change, no matter our age. This essay, offering reflections on how to approach the question, is my task for today. I long to do something more directly, but exactly what remains elusive. Clarity will emerge over time… I need only hold the question with an open heart.  

Joy is our birthright. Connecting with our heart’s desires opens us to joy. Still, as Buddha observed, each life carries its own form of suffering, for we all experience sickness, illness, injury, and death, and joy may seem elusive. 

And yet, in times of suffering, joy seeps in and leads us forward when we stay close to our hearts. We discover through this deep inner connection with others that we are not alone, no matter how alone we may feel. We tap into the wisdom and compassion that fuel this extraordinary web of Life connecting us all. Christianity calls this “resurrection.”

At the conclusion of Dante’s Divine Comedy, he reaches the highest point of Heaven after traveling through purgatory and hell, and proclaims:

“… already my desire and my will were being turned like a wheel, all at one speed, by the Love that moves the sun and the stars.”

May we enjoy the journey into Love!

Dear Readers,

I’ve joined Substack. You can find me there (and will continue here) at:

https://open.substack.com/pub/amyrussell876/p/desires-of-the-heart?r=1echop&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
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MYTH OF VIOLENCE

Posted on December 23, 2025 by Incarnation Place

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (from The Preamble to the Declaration of Independence) 

I remember how I felt as a kid hearing these words for the first time… a flurry of excitement, a sense of pride to be an American, and to be in a country shaped by this exalted vision. Seventy years later, I realize that these inspired words contain the seeds that propelled U.S. culture down a dark path. 

Unfortunately, the rugged individualism that helped create our lasting vision for the United States also contributes to a popular myth that has fueled our long history of violence. The myth is: violence leads to peace.

No, it won’t. 

A brief accounting of U.S. history shows that violence sets the stage for more violence, and the violence only escalates. We fought the Revolutionary War (1775 – 1783) to break free from British rule. A century later, we fought the Civil War (1861-1865) over the controversy about slavery. World War 1 followed, leading to World War II and the creation of the atomic bomb, the most destructive weapon that humanity has produced. We dropped two of these on Japan.

Then came the 1960s. We witnessed the assassinations of President John Kennedy, his brother Robert, and the civil rights leader, The Rev. Martin Luther King. We lost close to 50,000 soldiers in the Vietnam War (1960 – 1975). What seemed an unthinkable act of violence occurred on September 11, 2001, followed by brutal wars in Iran and Afghanistan.

On and on it goes. The world is not a more peaceful place. We are not a more peaceful union.

We stoke the illusion that peace and better times are just around the corner, while ignoring the full impact of our violent history. Yet our belief in violence as a path to peace has deep roots. Cynthia Bourgeault writes:

“For the American Founders, the Cartesian ‘I think, therefore I am’ was the self-evident truth from which all inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness followed. The starting point is that ‘I,’ the individual, actually exists: with emotions, volition, a personal history, and a solid core of identity that both needs and deserves opportunity for self-expression… We experience ourselves first and foremost as … individual selves. We move out into the world, making our life choices, accomplishing our goals, fulfilling our destiny. It all seems obvious.” (Cynthia Bourgeault, The Wisdom Way of Knowing, pages 63-64)

Descartes left us with what became an assumed truth: “I know I exist because I can think.” Well, it’s only a partial truth. Yes, our thinking abilities are extraordinary, and unique aspects of being human. However, thinking does not define our existence. I exist because I am alive; my heart is beating, blood is flowing, cycles of breath go on every minute of every day. I exist because I laugh and cry and dream. Love and being loved is the reason I exist.

This attachment to the intellect as proof of existence breeds our trust in our ego. “I” becomes the center of the universe and fosters our sense of separation from others. We easily become focused on accumulating power, specifically power over others. 

The drive for power over another is the beginning of war. 

Is it any wonder that we find ourselves in chaos, driven by an unquenchable hunger for money, power, perfection, and recognition? What is the antidote to this fixation on violence? 

I don’t pretend to have the answers, but I know this. We in America need to re-claim our sense of “we” which is buried beneath the rubble left from over two hundred years of violence. 

Theologian Rebecca Ann Parker suggests we learn to recognize ourselves as: 

“… people living in the aftermath of cataclysmic violence rather than as people awaiting the overthrow of the present world order and the birth of the new…. From this place of honesty, we must discover how we can live among the ruins.” (Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing the World: What Can Save Us Now, page 21)

The American vision expressed in the Declaration of Independence deeply inspired France’s motto, Liberty, Equality, Fraternity. That one word, “fraternity”, reminds us that a country is a community to be cared for. We seem to forget that about America these days. Human society needs wisdom and compassion, focused on building up communities, not tearing them down.

We do not do this work alone:

“We must turn to those who have survived grief, victimization denial, and paralysis. We must look to the witness of those who have found a way to live lives of dignity, honesty, creativity, and activism, and we must take counsel from survivors, resisters, and truth tellers.” (Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing the World: What Can Save Us Now, page 23)

And we need lots of practice in cultivating our minds and bodies, in creating the life-affirming society we long for. 

Over two thousand years ago, Jesus told his disciples that their highest purpose was to love others as God has loved them. His message was that our primary attention is to be given to our relationships, bringing forth love in all of them, beginning with our relationship with Him. This was the path toward what Jesus called the Kingdom of God. Religions around the world echo this same message. 

Rebecca Ann Parker encourages us:

“In our time, hope means not running away from the icy, hard ground of suffering, violence, injustice, and deceit. It means savoring the sweetness of human love, lighting the Sabbath candles, smelling the spices, and opening our hearts to the sources of refreshment and grace that are given to us. Survival means reconstructing from the ruins a world of hospitality and peace. It means living as one of those who, as Adrienne Rich says, ‘with no extraordinary power, reconstitutes the world.’” (Rebecca Ann Parker, Blessing the World: What Can Save Us Now, page 24)

May we begin today.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ What is one thing you can do today that will contribute positively to another person or group?

~ What is one thing you can give up today that will ease the burden of another person or group? 

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TIME TO REST

Posted on November 19, 2025 by Incarnation Place

Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls…” (Matthew 11:28-30)

The first time I heard these words, I was 30 years old and sitting on an airplane reading a book that had nothing to do with religion, but used inspiring quotes at the beginning of each chapter. Jesus’ words seemed to jump off the page into my heart: “I will give you rest…” 

I stared at the words. Something inside me cracked open. Was Jesus inviting me to rest? Would it be okay to rest? In this short phrase, I heard for the first time that God was on my side. Maybe I could safely put down my armor and rest in the divine arms of a God whom I had just met. I cried tears of relief.

My mother was mentally ill. I grew up believing that I caused her illness and that God would condemn me because I was bad. Life seemed inherently unsafe. Deep feelings of anger, fear, and frustration became frozen in my nervous system.

On hearing these words from Jesus, I suddenly realized my exhaustion from always trying to prove that I was okay. “Okay” was code, meaning not mentally ill like my mother. It was a full-time job, one that paid not in money but in gaining approval. Rest was not on my agenda!

This one quote propelled me into years of healing that helped me develop an inner compassionate voice. Slowly I learned to release fear and anger and trust in the presence of a loving God. This was a slow process of self-reflection, re-calibrating my nervous system, and learning to trust life itself. 

Today, sadly, many of our political leaders are unwilling or unable to engage in even a bare minimum of self-awareness or reflection. At their core, they refuse to admit their own suffering, while blindly disregarding the cruelty they inflict on others. Unlimited thirst for power fuels policy decisions, while instilling fear becomes a weapon to control people.

In this chaotic environment, it is easy to become hooked on chasing the next headline, disaster, or latest crisis. We get caught up in the intensity of emotional excitement; anger, fear, and disappointment can become our daily norm. We become weary, yet dare not rest, for fear of “missing something important.”

What we may miss is that rest offers us a powerful tool of resistance. When I take time to rest, I can defuse the intensity of the emotional swirl, my thinking becomes clearer, and I make better decisions about how to respond to troublesome situations. Rest offers space for honest self-reflection, including my self-righteousness that helps fuel “I’m right; “they’ are wrong mentality. 

The process of self-reflection includes learning to de-fusing intense emotional experiences. I find this to be a slow learning process and demands lots of practice. But it is possible and makes a vast difference in how I experience myself and the world. This a bodily experience, not a conscious thought. When my emotions calm and my thinking clears, I experience a deep sense of Presence, a connection with a larger reality. From here, rest emerges organically as I relax from the intensity of the chaos and emotional swirl.

St. Paul teaches that honest self-reflection brings forth the best of who we are, what he calls the fruit of the Spirit:

“… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

When I take time to rest, my hope is renewed for a well-functioning government that wisely uses its resources wisely in response to emerging health concerns, extreme weather events, and continuing flows of immigration. I will support political candidates who share my concerns, such  as access to quality education and affordable health care in urban and rural areas, the availability of jobs that keep workers gainfully employed.

Little did I realize that the ancient words of Jesus might serve us so well in our current environment: rest in God. I’m not making a religious statement so much as pointing toward a form of spiritual healing. If “rest in Jesus” works for you, go with it! 

But if you need to find another place for your weary soul, seek what gives you a place of comfort, of peace. Perhaps it’s a place in nature, or the comforting arms of a loved one, or your beloved pet. Or it may be a practice of meditation with teachers who resonate with you. Many popular Christian and Buddhist teachers are available online or in person.

Episcopal priest and teacher Cynthia Bourgeault suggests that we in the West must move toward:

“… a renewed sense of dignity and coherence… If the postmodern universe so often seems random and meaningless; if the once great American dream of ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness’ seems so often nowadays to have shrunk to a bizarre caricature of itself — ‘The one with the most toys when he dies wins,’ as a popular bumper sticker mordantly proclaims — perhaps the problem is not that our vision has grown too small but that we are using too little of ourselves to see.” (Cynthia Bourgeault, The Wisdom Way of Knowing, pages 8-9)

I look forward to reclaiming our sense of dignity and coherence!

A TIME FOR REST

Here are some suggested guidelines for a period of rest. Adapt these in any way that supports you.

Set aside 15 minutes to rest. Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor. Or lie down on a bed, couch, or floor, if you prefer. For these few minutes, there is nothing else to do, nowhere else to go.

Put one hand on your heart, the other hand on your stomach (or wherever you prefer). Notice your breathing, inhale and exhale. Follow your breath for 10 cycles of inhale and exhale.

How do you feel?

With your eyes closed, spend a few minutes scanning your body. Sense the support of what you are sitting on (or lying down) on. Allow yourself to sink into that support. 

What sensations do you notice? (For example, tightness or pain? heat or cold? heartbeats? spaciousness?) Other observations? 

Slowly, open your eyes. If you are lying down, slowly sit up. What do you notice? How do you feel?

Your comments are welcome!

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LETTING GO OF HATRED

Posted on November 1, 2025 by Incarnation Place

“The Buddha declares, ‘Enraged with hate, with mind ensnared, humans aim at their own ruin and at the ruin of others.’” (Jack Kornfield, https://jackkornfield.com/nature-hate/ )

Yes, the world is suffering. Armed conflicts are raging in the Middle East, Russia and Ukraine, Africa, South America, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. But there’s another war going on: the fight for our humanity. This war uses the thirst for power over others as its weapon. The leaders use fear, intimidation, and chaos as their tools. Leaders strive to humiliate others, especially those who disagree. Our human gift of care for others is slowly seeping away.

Today, disagreements quickly dissolve into rage, and rage morphs into hatred on all sides. When hatred takes over, we all lose; for hatred, like war, is an insidious foe. Hatred is energizing; it focuses us. It seduces us with the sense of power, fueled by a self-righteous voice that shouts, “I am right, you are wrong!” Too often, “wrong” morphs into “evil”. When I’m caught in hatred, the emotional intensity only adds to the chaos. I can no longer think clearly, or make wise decisions. Hatred takes an enormous toll on the human nervous system, interrupts sleep and easily becomes addictive.

Words matter. Words shape beliefs. Beliefs fuel action. Day by day, tensions are flaring, people are tired and angry. The potential for violence is escalating.

In the U.S. Constitution, the First Amendment guarantees the precious gift of free speech. Too often today we are squandering this gift under the illusion that free speech means, “I can say anything I want and you can’t touch me!” Not true.

The First Amendment urges us to care for our language. If all we’re doing is pouring more hatred into the common well, we’re making the situation worse, not better. Can we speak plainly, clearly, without a message of hate?

I think we can. But when I am filled with rage, I need to pause, turn my focus away from the other and toward myself. What is going on inside me that fuels my emotional intensity toward the other? 

In most situations, deep fear and a sense of helplessness lurk beneath rage and hate. Sometimes, the present situation triggers deep feelings associated with historical events. If that happens, I acknowledge the past wounding and remind myself that past events were then. Today’s events are now and they are different, separate and unique.

Next, I engage some questions, like: “Why am I speaking? What am I trying to accomplish? Do my words help the situation? Or do my words create more noise, adding to the problems rather than helping resolve them? How can I use my speech to help create a better vision for our society?” Tending to this self-exploration process allows me to engage current situations with a clearer mind and less emotional entanglement. Let us care for our freedom of speech, not take it for granted. 

It helps to remember that my anger is also a sign that I care. I care about the country, our people, and want all of us to thrive. I suspect readers of this blog care too! Self-reflection is like a re-wiring process. It takes time and practice for new wires to form. But new wires will emerge. 

There’s a well-known exchange in the Gospel of Luke. Jesus says:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”   (Luke 6:41-42, New International Version) 

(This is a rare example of words attributed to Jesus that appears not only here, but almost verbatim in the Gospel of Matthew 7:3-5, New International Version.)

Jesus, like Buddha before him, taught that the path of non-violence is the antidote to hate. And that it demands that we engage parts of ourselves we do not want to face. Jesus says:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.” (Matthew 5:38-40, New International Version)

The language of “God” goes by lots of other names in religious and spiritual traditions around the world. Regardless of the language used, people commonly believe in an energetic reality that propels humanity toward wisdom. Cynthia Bourgeault * says:

“We are still under the loving hand of our Common Father, and the marching orders have not changed: to live and establish ourselves in alignment with the highest benchmarks of what we know human beings are capable of: courage, commitment, compassion, forgiveness, conscience, integrity. To simply keep walking toward these, arm and arm if at all possible, for there the force of individual integrity is vastly magnified.”  (From her website: cynthiabourgeault.org )

AMEN!

* Cynthia Bourgeault is a modern-day mystic, Episcopal priest, writer, and internationally known retreat leader. She dedicates herself to studying and teaching universal Wisdom traditions while firmly planting her faith in Christ.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

Families often gather in November and December to celebrate various holidays. These gatherings can be especially challenging when political views clash.

~ When discussions with loved ones become heated, how can you reduce the tension? 

~ How do you process the intensity of your emotional reactions during these chaotic times?

~ What brings you a sense of rest during the day? (For example, listening to or playing music, meditation, artwork, going out for walks, practicing Yoga, taking a nap)

Please offer any comments or questions in response to this post.

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A KINDER, GENTLER NATION

Posted on October 3, 2025 by Incarnation Place

“The supreme good is like water, which nourishes all things without trying to…” (Tao Te Ching, Verse 8)

 Growing up in the 1960s and 70s, I watched violence erupt at home and abroad: civil rights, the Vietnam War, and the assassinations of President John Kennedy, his brother Robert Kennedy, and Martin Luther King. (It seems we have a history of killing leaders who preach non-violence.)

I was too uptight to be a hippy, but surrounded myself with more free-spirited others who explored faraway places, like India, South America, and the Peace Corps. I stayed in college, dabbled in psychedelic drugs, and studied a lot, mostly philosophy, religion, and art history. Like many teenagers, I was fiercely idealistic. I clung to the vision of “peace on earth”, and believed I would know it in my lifetime. 

Aspiration is not a word I use much. Today, I am using it more. I aspire to be patient and kind to those I meet. I aspire to think and write clearly. At the 1988 Republican Convention, George H. W. Bush expressed his aspiration that the United States become a “kinder and gentler nation”, a vision he repeated in his Inaugural Address in 1989, after winning the Presidency. Today I repeat it silently like a mantra: may we become a kinder, gentler nation.

A generation later, immediately after the 9/11 attack, President Bush’s son, George W. Bush, declared the “war on terror”. Bush deliberately used the language of good and evil, declaring America the “good guys” and Al-Qaeda the “evil ones”. In a single moment, his father’s aspiration that we become a “kinder, gentler nation” dissolved, replaced by a demand for war, to be won at all costs. The language of war is now pouring from the lips of our political leaders daily.

War and violence can be addictive. It’s exciting, gives us a clear focus. Chris Hodges is a veteran war correspondent who has seen up close the power of war, from Central America to the Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Gaza, and the Balkans. He knows the terrain of war, inside and out. He says:

“I learned early on that war forms its own culture. The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug, one I ingested for many years… The enduring attraction of war is this: even with its destruction and carnage it can give us what we long for in life. It can give us purpose, meaning, a reason for living. Only when we are in the midst of conflict does the shallowness and vapidness of much of our lives become apparent. Trivia dominates our conversations and increasingly our airwaves. And war is an enticing elixir. It gives us resolve, a cause. It allows us to be noble.” (Chris Hodges, War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning, page 3)

This reenactment of war is in sharp contrast to the central teaching of Christianity, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Growing up as a practicing Christian, I cherished the profound beauty and power of liturgy, church music, and prayers. Over the years, I’ve found lifelong friendships in church community. I’ve also struggled with the arrogance, hypocrisy, manipulation, and demand for faith with no room to question (Virgin Birth, for instance) that weaves through church leadership, causing great harm to the very people who are to be embraced. 

Buddhism offers a place of comfort and practical training to cultivate the qualities of compassion and wisdom. As we grow into these qualities, we are better able to protect life and decrease violence in ourselves, our families, and society. Buddhist practice helps me live into the Christian commandment, “to love your neighbor as yourself.”

Along the way, Zen practice attracted my son. He invited me to join him for a Zen retreat, and I discovered in Zen a simplicity and directness that stirred my deep belief that peace on earth can indeed become a reality.

One Zen teaching is called “The Four Immeasurables”. It is used to guide meditation practice. These stand as universal prayers:

“May all beings be free from suffering and the root of suffering. 

May all beings know happiness and the root of happiness. 

May all beings live in sympathetic joy, rejoicing in the happiness of others.

May all beings live in equanimity, free from passion, aggression, and delusion.”

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Zen Buddhist monk and teacher. He emphasizes the need for volition (or willingness) to bring aspiration into reality. He says:

“… (Volition) is your desire, your hope, your aspiration. It’s the energy that keeps you alive. You want to be someone, you want to do something with your life. If you’re motivated by compassion and love, your volition will give you the energy and direction to grow and become even more loving and compassionate. However, if your desire is to possess or to win at all costs, this kind of volition is toxic and will not help your love to grow. You can practice developing a strong and positive volition. You can even put your commitment in words, such as: “I vow to develop understanding and compassion in me, so I can become an instrument of peace and love, to help society and the world.”

( Thich Nhat Hanh, https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/t30ymp/what_love_needs_to_survive_from_thich_nhat_hanh/ )

We are interconnected, here and abroad, across the globe. In our search for peace, may we remember the wisdom of Martin Luther King: 

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” (The Rev. Martin Luther King, Letter From Birmingham, written April 16, 1963, while incarcerated in the Alabama jail)

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ Do you share the vision of a “kindler, gentler nation”? 

~ If so, how do you imagine we create that?

~ If not, how do you envision the future for America?

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CONNECTING TO SELF (CHOOSING TO CONNECT, PART 2)

Posted on September 24, 2025 by Incarnation Place

I was born in 1954. I remember air raid drills from my early school days, when all the kids had to sit under their wooden desks until the bell rang. We were practicing hiding, how to stay safe in case Russia bombed the U.S. Never mind that if a bomb actually hit, our wooden desk would not keep us safe. More likely, a bomb would have probably blown us to smithereens. But the school authorities were taking action. They meant well.

I became very confused. “What’s going on?” I silently asked. “Grandma won’t hurt anybody.” These thoughts circled round and round in my head. Too terrified, I said nothing to anyone. 

Grandma was my mother’s mother and a Russian immigrant. She, her three sisters, and their mother and father (my great grandparents) fled Russia in the early 1920s. Grandma’s father died before reaching the United States. She and the rest of the family settled in Chicago. 

Grandma was an imposing figure who stood tall and presented an air of confidence. I realized only years later that, until her death in 1970, she lived in fear that some government official — Russian or American — would knock on her door and deport her back to Russia. She was terrified of returning to her homeland.

Throughout much of my growing-up years in Chicago, collective calls for peace wove through raging episodes of violence, at home and abroad, with the ever-present drumbeat threatening nuclear war. I wasn’t much of an activist, but I clung with all my might to the possibility of peace. I still do.

Humans are capable of enormous courage, kindness, and generosity. We all have these qualities within us. At our best, we bring these positive qualities out into the world. Each of us contains seeds of violence as well.

In my last post, I introduced the work of David Bohm (1917-1992), a quantum physicist who became keenly interested in human consciousness, what it is, how it functions. He suggested we assume our thoughts are private unless we choose to share them with others. However, Bohm realized the deep interconnected of all reality, which logically extended to consciousness. Like Carl Jung, Bohm emphasized the collective nature of thought, which echoes ancient Buddhist teaching. 

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Zen Buddhist monk who became a beloved teacher to Westerners about Buddhist concepts and practice. Here is a glimpse of his teaching about the relationship between individual and collective consciousness: 

“Our individual consciousness is influenced by the collective consciousness of our environment. We absorb and reflect what is around us. If we live in a place where people are angry and violent, then eventually we’ll become like them. If we live in a family or community where there’s a culture of being understanding and compassionate with each other, we’ll naturally be more peaceful and loving. Children growing up in such an environment will learn to be caring and kind.”  (Thich Nhat Hanh, https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/t30ymp/what_love_needs_to_survive_from_thich_nhat_hanhs/ )

I have learned that our outward behavior — spanning the spectrum from acts of courage, kindness, and generosity to acts of cruelty and violence — begins within us. Learning to cultivate the interior realm of our minds and bodies is the point of spiritual practice, in any tradition. The Quakers call this inner work “bending toward the light”. Through spiritual practice, we become better able to make wise choices about what we think and how we behave toward and respond to others.

Bohm was a physicist, not a therapist, nor a spiritual teacher. Yet he knew keenly that humanity fosters the illusion that mind and body are separate entities. This, he believed, is a grave error that keeps human evolution from flourishing. For Bohm, this illusion of mind/body separation violates the inherent oneness of our being, and leads to the separation between ourselves and others, individually and within groups. We separate ourselves into endlessly specialized groups in all fields of study and work. We break up into religious communities, political parties, and countries that war within and against each other. Today, we see our society living out the destructive consequences of human fragmentation affecting all aspects of human life.

As Bohm speculated decades ago, today’s trauma therapists recognize that the human body — in the fibers, glands, anatomical structures and systems — contains all of our experience, past and present, and our dreams of the future.

Again, Thich Nhat Hanh’s words encapsulate why Bohm’s understanding remains so powerful:

“When body and mind are together, you are fully present. You are fully alive and you can touch the wonders of life that are available in the here and the now. So you practice not only with your mind but with your body. Body and mind should be experienced as one thing, not two.” (Thich Nhat Hanh, https://plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh/interviews-with-thich-nhat-hanh/shambhala-sun-thich-nhat-hanh-special-issue-july-2010)

Psychotherapist and philosopher Eugene Gendlin  (1926-2017) was a contemporary of Bohm and, like Bohm, was deeply concerned that humans cling to the separation of mind and body, an illusion which only fragments our understanding. 

Gendlin was one of the first psychotherapists to appreciate the crucial role of our physical bodies in the therapeutic process; that we experience life through our bodies. Most therapy, he observed, anchors the patient’s attention in the mind, while ignoring the body experiencing. This happens, he found, because most therapists focus on the story of what happened to the individual, while ignoring the felt experience in the patient’s body. 

He studied various forms of psychotherapy and found that therapy makes a difference in people’s lives when the individual has a direct body-based experience. He named this direct experience the “felt sense”. For the individual, the felt sense is a inner shift, experienced in the body. It is “… a definite, physical feeling of something changing or moving within, a tight place loosening.” (Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D., Focusing, Rider ebook, 2003, page 14. Original published by Everest, 1978; revised edition by Bantam Books, 1981) He explains:

“A felt sense is not an emotion. We recognize emotions. We know when we are angry, or sad, or glad. A felt sense is something you do not at first recognize. — it is vague and murky… It is a body sense of meaning.” (Focusing, page 10) 

Gendlin and his associates developed Focusing, a specific technique that anyone can learn and that a therapist can teach to an individual patient. The Focusing technique helps one attune to the felt sense in one’s own body. This is where genuine change happens, as body experience awakens and integrates with the mind. Experiencing our stories differs greatly from describing and analyzing them.

Today there is an explosion of body-centered therapies, especially those geared toward healing trauma, such as somatic experiencing, brain spotting, NARM (Neuro-Affective Relational Model), and others. Each of these owes a tribute to the work of Eugene Gendlin and David Bohm.

Deb Dana is a well-known clinician, consultant, author and speaker specializing in the healing of complex trauma. Her work focuses on the role of the nervous system and specific techniques to help calm us. In particular, I especially enjoy what she calls “Finding Glimmers.” A glimmer can be a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of light, a glimmer of peace. She says:

“Glimmers routinely appear in everyday life, yet frequently go unnoticed. A glimmer could be as simple as seeing a friendly face, hearing a soothing sound, or noticing something in the environment that brings a smile. They are personal to each of us… Glimmers are a cue in the day, either internal or external, that sparks a sense of well-being. These tiny moments gently yet significantly shape your system toward well being… Once you learn to look for glimmers, you find they are all around, you pay more attention to them, and you naturally begin to look for more.” (Glimmers Journal: Reflect on the mall Moment that Bring you Joy, Safety, and Connection, an e-book by Deb Dana, page viii)

PRACTICES OF CONNECTION

How do we foster connecting with ourselves? Here are a few practices. Some may be familiar; some may be new. 

These practices identify what lies within us and develop compassion for all that lies within us. This demands that we honestly recognize our kindness, courage, and generosity, as well as our impulses toward greed, hatred, and illusion that, left unchecked, cause harm and may lead to violence. As Herman Hesse observed in 1916: 

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself…” (Demian by Herman Hesse, chapter 6)

These practices can also help us embody the teaching of Jesus, offered in the Gospel of John: 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”   (John 13:34) 

FOCUSING. If you are interested in the Focusing technique described above, you can access simple instructions online through a website called Focusing Resources (www.focusingresources.com). The practice itself is simple, yet the ways to apply Focusing are endless. The key to the Focusing technique is developing a “self-in-presence” voice, an inner voice of compassion that engages with any aspect of the inner world.

FINDING GLIMMERS. This simple technique makes a tremendous shift toward joy in my daily life. I find Deb Dana’s e-book, Glimmers Journal well worth having. You can find it on Amazon. You can find more about her work and teachings on her website, Rhythm of Regulation,  https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/about

MINDFULNESS. Mindfulness has become a catch-all term that essentially means developing an awareness of the inner world, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, images, bodily sensations. Mindfulness can take almost any form, from a formal meditation practice to sitting on your couch, noticing your breathing. It can be 5 mins or 60, done once or twice a week or every day, individually and/or with others, in person or online. You can practice within a specific tradition, such as Buddhism or Christianity, or within another tradition. Or you can create your own practice. The key is to practice regularly, adjusting as needed. Two of the most popular teachers of mindfulness are Sharon Salzberg (www.sharonsalzberg.com) and Jon Kabat-Zinn (www.jonkabat-zinn.com). 

OTHER ACTIVITIES. Any activity that brings mind and body together, such as Yoga, walking, dancing, swimming, singing, or playing a musical instrument. Writing, drawing, or painting are options. Again, the key point is to bring self-compassion to what we discover within ourselves. 

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ Which of the practices listed above have you tried? How have they worked (or not worked) for you?

~ If you are willing, try one practice that is new for you. How did it go?

~ What other practices help you connect more deeply within yourself? How do these help you connect to the world, with others, individually and/or in groups?

I encourage you to share your experiences below. What has helped you connect with yourself? How does that experience impact your connection to others?

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CONNECTING WITH OTHERS (CHOOSING TO CONNECT, PART 1)

Posted on September 8, 2025 by Incarnation Place

In the last several posts, I expressed my deep concerns about the trajectory of our public discourse. In our public sphere, people are increasingly dividing within communities, families, and among friends. Dialogue dissolves into arguments fueled by anger, fear, and intimidation. We are becoming hate-filled. We can choose to remain isolated, or we can reach out to connect. 

I am using my voice in this blog to offer ways of moving toward wholeness, appreciation, and compassion. This post is the first of two called,  “Choosing to Connect.” Here in Part One, I focus on connecting with others. In Part Two, I will explore connecting with ourselves. 

Whether or not we choose to connect is not merely our “private” decision. The prevailing culture at any time and place affects what decisions we make and how we make them. For example, accepted scientific understanding is a powerful pressure on what we believe about how our world operates. 

For over 300 years, the Newtonian view dominated Western science. It promoted the idea of physical reality as a kind of machine, comprising individual, isolated, static parts. In the early 1900s, quantum mechanics turned Newtonian theory upside down by suggesting that reality is not machine-like, but a living organism where all elements interact within a whole. Quantum theory gathered momentum through the 20th century and is today accepted as a prevailing scientific perspective.

David Bohm (1917-1992) was a physicist and a leading proponent of quantum theory. He recognized that scientific theory profoundly affects the human sense of identity. He saw that human thought tends toward fragmentation. We separate ourselves into minds and bodies and fragment our minds trying to do multiple tasks at once. We divide our fields of study into an ever-expanding number of fields, each field breaking up into sub-categories. Most of all, we isolate ourselves from one another and from Life itself, distinguishing between life and death.

Bohm recognized that the quantum view of physics guides human perception toward a fuller human consciousness. The quantum perspective emphasizes the essential interconnectedness of all life. For example, quantum thinking highlights how our language’s basic structure (noun-verb-object) implicitly assumes individual, distinct elements. Take the simple sentence “I chop wood.” We assume that “I” is completely distinct from “wood”; and “chop” is what my separate “I” does to the separate “wood.”

Quantum theory challenges our assumptions about these distinctions, proposing that “I” and “wood” are deeply connected as living things, made of Life-energy. Interestingly, this scientific worldview draws close to the ancient Buddhist teaching that says the separate “I” is an illusion of human thinking. Buddhism emphasizes the interconnectedness of all beings, sometimes called “inter-being”. 

Bohm recognized that the illusion of separation leads us to nurture our worst impulses. When we separate from one another, we form into separate “camps”, and then pit one camp against another. In this environment, we nurture suspicion, competition, jealousy, and hatred of “the other.” The “other” happens within and between families, community groups, political parties, countries, and on and on. Welcome to where we are today, consumed with being “separate from.”

This takes an enormous toll on all of us. Bohm recognized that this pull toward separation inspires us toward violence, away from compassion. Violence takes many forms. Wars, criminal acts, especially using weapons, are obvious. The tendency toward despair can also result. We are moving against the life force that is rooted in connection, not disconnection. 

Bohm urged his followers to learn to re-orient toward and practice connecting with others. We can reach out to a neighbor, call an old friend, email or send a card to someone who is suffering. Or we may volunteer at a local food bank, library, or hospital. Whatever action we choose, we begin by recognizing each other as human beings, each of whom suffers, all worthy of love and care. One of the most challenging yet important practices we can intake is to learn to listen to those with whom we may strongly disagree.

I am inspired by the ancient wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. In English, the Chinese word Tao is translated as The Way, which refers to the spiritual path that is available to all human beings. Brian Browne Walker, a translator of The Tao, says that The Tao Te Ching  “… is less a book than a living, breathing angel.” 

“Tao is a whirling emptiness, yet when used it cannot be exhausted.

Out of the mysterious well, flows everything in existence.

Blunting sharp edges, untangling knots,

Softening the glare, settling the dust,

It evolves us all and makes the whole world one.”

(The Tao Te Ching of Lao Tsu, translated by Brian Browne Walker, published by St. Martin Griffin, New York, page 4)

Today, I’ll opt for the path of angels… as best I can.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ How much of your time and energy goes to connecting with others? When are your connections with others life-giving? When do connections feel draining? 

~ How do you relate to people with whom you have sharp disagreements? Do you avoid them, argue with them, or try to listen to their perspective?

~ What helps you connect others who hold very different views from yours? 

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