I’m exhausted. Perhaps you are too. 

I’m weary of voices from all sides of issues, political parties, organizational groups screaming at each other. Every topic becomes a battleground fought between opposing sides: “I’m right, you’re wrong! I’m good, you’re bad!”

Some days I hear the news and need a shower to wash away the feeling of grime. I’m not alone. 

At the bottom of the well of exhaustion, though, I am tapping into renewed strength. This feels like anger transforming into a measure of clarity. Not because I have any special knowledge of the future. Rather, I am finding my bearings, feeling my feet on the ground, if only for a few moments at a time.

We live in complex times. Our political leaders are intentionally creating chaos and division, using fear and intimidation to expand authoritarian power. These tools are effective — they grind people into submission. The consequences can be ruinous.

However, this crisis has historical roots beyond the last few election cycles. 

Recently, I went back to the writings of Alvin Toffler, a deep thinker, a “futurologist”, shorthand for “modern-day prophet”. Between 1970 and 1990, Toffler wrote a trilogy of books examining the impact of accelerating change on human society. His work was a guiding force for me in the 1980s and 90s.

Future Shock was the first book in the Toffler trilogy, and the only book co-authored with Toffler’s wife, Adelaide Farrell, though she remained an active partner in creating the other two books in the series.

In the opening line of Future Shock, the authors tell us:

“This is a book about what happens to people when they are overwhelmed by change. It is about the ways in which we adapt — or fail to adapt — to the future.” (Future Shock, published by Random House, 1970; by Bantam 1971, page 1)

They examine human patterns of:

 “… common, everyday matters — the products we buy and discard, the places we leave behind, the corporations we inhabit, the people who pass at an ever faster clip through our lives.” (Future Shock, Bantam edition, page 1) 

The authors investigate the profound impact on human evolution in a world where change is speeding up, moving faster and faster, for generations to come. In 1970, they wrote:

“Western society for the past 300 years has been caught up in a firestorm of change. This storm, far from abating, now appears to be gathering force. Change sweeps through the highly industrialized countries with waves of ever accelerating speed and unprecedented impact… Future shock is the dizzying disorientation brought on by the premature arrival of the future. It may well be the most important disease of tomorrow.” (Future Shock, Bantam edition, pages 9,11)

Alvin Toffler’s second book in the trilogy was The Third Wave. This book focuses specifically on technology, and how the accelerating rate of change in technology will be a driving force in human evolution for generations to come. 

Toffler published The Third Wave in 1980, and the personal computer — a computer that sits on a desk — was a new thing. Before that, people used “mainframe computers,” which were enormous machines housed in special rooms, floors of buildings, or even entire buildings, to centralize computing. Individuals, businesses (large and small), governments, and community organizations had to adapt to this new technology: a computer that sits on a desk.

Toffler rightly predicted that the personal computer would change human society profoundly: how we think and work, where we travel, what we buy, how our daily homes function, the disposability of our purchases, and on and on. The personal computer was the beginning of a revolution and another step in human evolution.

My twin boys were born in 1989, and my husband purchased our first “home computer”. The internet was emerging, but we didn’t know what to do with it. We had old-fashioned telephones which were connected by a cord. A few years later cordless telephones became the new thing. Amazon and Google didn’t exist.

By 2003, when my kids went to college, students were required to own a “laptop”, a new term for a portable personal computer. Cell phones were everywhere, but “smartphones” wouldn’t arrive for another few years (2007). Use of the internet was exploding, and Google (founded in 1998) was, by 2003, a well-known resource. Although Amazon was founded in 1994, in 2003, stores and shopping malls were still the primary sources for groceries, clothing, electronics, and most other consumer products.

Now in 2025, my kids are adults and raising children of their own. Those young ones, my grandchildren, can’t imagine life without Google, the internet, smartphones, laptops, iPads, and Amazon has created an enormous space for online shopping. Meanwhile, Costco has replaced many smaller stores and is a convenient shopping center for many people. 

Technology is today a constant companion. But no matter how powerful the technology, we are social creatures, in need of social, in-person, face-to-face contact with other humans. We need each other for our survival. During a recent trip to France, I remembered the French national motto, “Liberty, equality, fraternity”. We in the U.S., have lost our sense of “fraternity,” of the collective, of our sense of community. We hunger for this, especially now. 

Today “I” replaces “we.” Individually and collectively we are drowning in individualism, which has become toxic. Communal institutions are increasingly disappearing. Religious institutions are struggling to survive. Faith in the government, healthcare, and education is slipping away. Yet the more we focus on ourselves, the less we rely on others for support and community. We lose our focus on needing to be of service to others. As we focus increasingly on ourselves, we disconnect from others. We compare ourselves endlessly, judging ourselves “better than” or “worse than,” and we lose our sense of deep connection.  

Our current political leaders arise within this context. Unfortunately, on both sides of the aisle, leaders exploit our differences while ignoring what we most long for: a shared community that allows for individual freedom while honoring the needs of the collective. In our society today, there is little room for true freedom, justice, or peaceful co-existence. This is a path to isolation and unhappiness. For it violates our human need for belonging.

How do we respond?

Recently, podcaster Dan Harris interviewed Father Gregory Boyle. Father Boyle is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He is the acclaimed author of Tattoos on the Heart, Barking to the Choir, The Whole Language, and most recently, Cherished Belonging. (This conversation is on the podcast, 10% Happier with Dan Harris: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/an-antidote-to-overwhelm-and-anger-father-gregory-boyle/id1087147821?i=1000718244075 )

Father Boyle suggests that our way through these fractured times is to recognize that we are all suffering, including those we resent or even hate, and to back away from demonizing any individual or group. Each one is in pain, wounded, broken. This demands that we put ourselves in the mix, to learn to recognize and welcome our own wounds. 

In this podcast, Father Boyle urges us to attend to our capacity for care, which shifts our focus toward what connects us. We move into the domain of love. Love can become a practice, naming who/what we love, enjoy, delight in. The more time and energy we spend in this domain, the more we tap into the life-giving energy that sustains rather than drains us. He urges us to look for opportunities to be kind and to cultivate experiences of caring for others; and to notice when others reach out in care for us. 

Toward the end of the podcast, Father Boyle emphasizes the interconnectedness among humans and Dan suggests the ancient Buddhist image, “Indra’s Net.” Barbara O’Brien, a Zen Buddhist practitioner, teacher, and author, explains how this conveys the deep connection among all things, including human beings:

“In the realm of the god Indra is a vast net that stretches infinitely in all directions. In each ‘eye’ of the net is a single brilliant, perfect jewel. Each jewel also reflects every other jewel, infinite in number, and each of the reflected images of the jewels bears the image of all the other jewels — infinity to infinity. Whatever affects one jewel affects them all.” ( https://www.learnreligions.com/indras-jewel-net-449827 )

The podcast ends with Father Boyle’s encouragement: “Our aim is to be a source of delight and protection.” I repeat his closing words here, from Mother Teresa:

“Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”

Our freedom as individuals is precious only in community with others. A healthy community demands that we cherish the essential goodness of all. The Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would wish to be treated…” is a secular version of Jesus’ command to his followers: 

“Love your neighbor as you have been loved.” (Luke 10:27)

SUGGESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

~ Practice remembering that each of us carries wounds. Allow that awareness to soften your heart. What changes do you notice in yourself?

~ Each day, look for opportunities to be kind to others. Look too, for opportunities to be kind to yourself. How does this practice affect you?

~ Notice when someone else has been kind to you. How does their kindness make you feel?

Feel free to respond to these questions or anything in this post in the comments section below. Your responses are much appreciated.